lost

When you got used to doing something, but all of the sudden you totally lost it, the initial knee jerk reaction is, you are in the state of shock. You don't know what to do, and it is out of your control. You then try to find the cause. You later found out that you lost it because of something you did, intentionally or unintentionally, that will haunt you forever, and there is no way to make amend. Guilt started to creep in, sadness followed not long later, and all you can feel now is lost and helpless, for a period of time. I hope that my friend will find the resolution and peace of mind. Because it is unbearable to watch misery consuming a person up and you cant really do anything about it.