just a bit sleepy

Not really sleepy, just a little sleepy, therefore posting some posts over here, with this last one with a little bit of random thought =)

Well, I have been reading about other blogger who literally don't need to sleep at night, because they have such habit, and when they cant sleep, they blogs. Well, am trying to be one temporarily for tonight. Hmm... or maybe not, because I am not a season late night blogger, hehe =)

Me just want to pen down the quiet, calm and peaceful night feeling, with happy feeling of thoughts here and there. Love the feeling. Well, gotta sleep now. Tomorrow still a mystery, yet it will be a fulfill one =)

Oyasumi!

second opinion

When you are troubled, and you don't really know what to do by yourself, it is always good to ask for a 2nd opinion, and I totally agree with it. However, if the person you ask doesn't really know everything that are happening around you, under awkward circumstances, the opinion given may not be correct or incorrect. Opinion is still always an opinion. You still have to process everything given, take your time and think things through.

lost

When you got used to doing something, but all of the sudden you totally lost it, the initial knee jerk reaction is, you are in the state of shock. You don't know what to do, and it is out of your control. You then try to find the cause. You later found out that you lost it because of something you did, intentionally or unintentionally, that will haunt you forever, and there is no way to make amend. Guilt started to creep in, sadness followed not long later, and all you can feel now is lost and helpless, for a period of time. I hope that my friend will find the resolution and peace of mind. Because it is unbearable to watch misery consuming a person up and you cant really do anything about it.

been a while

Halo everyone, it has been a while since I last regularly update my blog. Sorry about that.

For starter, above is a photo that I took a few days back, when I just reach home in the evening and walking towards the lift. Notice this "swoosh" cloud striking through the moon on the sky. Found that it is very interesting and a rare sight. Like it a lot =)

Recently, work started to pick up a little, since one project dateline is drawing near. But I still kept the work for 9-5. Therefore still fine =)

After work, spend lots of time with friends. It is great to have the companionship.

And as days goes by, Ah Beng & jlaw farewell is drawing near as well. A bit lost of what to do for them when they do leave. Farewell plan still doesn't really take shape and is considering keeping it simple or maybe a 1:1 farewell.

ex-company friends are extremely occupied with work, therefore, didnt really get to gather with them or have a meal with them. That has been a while already.

2 days back, I went back to ex-company and busy body a little with one of the annual sport event that they are having there. There was this ping pong competition between departments. I signed in as a visitor for "meeting" officially with Jules as escort "p

Taking a walk from the lobby until the cafeteria, notice there are some changes, physically or the feel or the atmosphere, yet still not a lot in certain way. There are still some familiar faces there, and there are also those who I am not so familiar with. 

Well, what I want to say is, ex-company is still doing well, life there still goes on, with or without me. I must say that the visit there does really open me up a little, at least I do find major closure now for my hatred to my ex-manager as well as ex-company. I finally can lay down some of the burden and sigh relief. I decided to move on now. One thing for sure, ex-manger will still always be the person whom I hate the most in my whole life, but it has become insignificant. There are more things in life for me that are more important, now and future =) thanks to jules for signing me in =)

1st June is coming soon. That day will mark my 1st anniversary in my current company. Time flies, but my life is great and still improving =)

I am an avid blogger (not pro-blogger) nowadays when I can spare the time =)

I am also addicted to this fishing game online, and if i do get high score, like maybe around 15000-20000 pounds (which i still haven't but target and working hard to), I really want to win the invitation to a special event for "Made of Honor" early preview =)

Then there is this reno planning, shopping and chores that keep me occupied for a while too =)

I am also participating in a basketball tournament in Butterworth which require me travel there in an average of twice a week. So far the game going well, though I know that I am not performing as good as I used to be. But I enjoy the game and had a good exercise =)

There are many wedding dinners coming soon too =)

And there is this one thing that I will leave for other future post =)

It is just a random posting here. This is just a piece of recent me =) I hope you all are doing fine as well. Take care.

dilemma

It has been a very long time since I am in a dilemma, and would never thought of myself in such situation again, especially tonight *_*

The truth is, my ex (not the ex-company ex), is getting married real soon, and I am invited.

I really cant make up my mind, to attend or not to attend...

It took me a very long time just to sign the online guest book just now, and am not sure how long it gonna take me tonight just to reply her email later... argh...

Don't get me wrong, I am very happy to see her taking the next step of reunion with her soul partner in life, who love her a lot.

But the thing is, I am very very embarrassed and cant imagine of showing my face there at the wedding dinner, for the guilt that I could still remember for breaking the relationship that cost her confidence until this very day, an obvious thing that I could sense from her wedding proposal story on the web *_*

much contemplating needed ... I deserved this moment *_*

debt

Well, since a post last year about helping out some friends financially end of last year, my mindset now in this domain has changed dramatically.

My principal now is, I won't lend to friends money anymore, no matter how close we are.

The only exception is when I decided to donate instead of lending, and is for valid case that deem by me. That is all, and I think it is the best for now.

As for why, out of the 4 persons that I lend the money to before (those that I could remember), big sum or small sum, I only get one repayment, which is the same person that I talk about in that post. The rest, some are still in the process of "negotiating"... Some, I think I will just forget about the existence of that person...

Bad isn't it. Well, I felt despair sometimes when occasionally thought of them. Some seems like totally missing, or even if when you do see some of them, they tend to avoid the topic and assume that nothing really happened, and the saddest thing is that some were and are your really close friends or elder.

Specifically, one of the despair sometimes happened just a few days back. When I was cleaning up my email address book, a friend's name caught my eye, who I suddenly recalled that I did lend him some money many many years back. See, this kind of thing you wont really forget if you lend him/her money, unless you really decided to donate it out, because once you donate, case close with open heart.

For background, this friend is my secondary school friend, we were very very close. We loved basketball very much. I remembered he taught me basketball too when I first join the team, although he is younger than me. I remembered we watched Michael Jordan Chicago Team on VCR at his house before training sessions at the school in the evening (that was the 90s). Those time was great. But years after that, he didn't continue study and started working, and me started working too after graduating. At that time, my salary was still at entry level, and has a lot of liabilities, but I tried to fork out some to help, but since then, never brought up anymore.

So, with some emotional feelings, I wrote an email to this friend of mine asking about the debt, whom I didn't see for years, and don't really know whether the email address is still valid or not.

Date: Thu, 24 Apr 2008 09:18:08 -0700

From: xxx

Subject: remember the RM200

To: xxx

Hi xxx

Really long time no see. Remember the RM200 that you
borrowed from me years back? Still remember or
forgotten already?

In case you don't know, I still remember although it
is a small sum and it has been years back. Not that I
am really in need of money now, but just want to see
whether you remember or not. Because people keep on
borrowing money from me, and keep on "forgetting",
like the money is actually theirs and like I don't
have the right to claim it back. Just checking.

regards,

xxx

Yup, I do write this kind of email, I cant believe it myself either *_*

But surprisingly, I got his reply as below a day later.

--- xxx wrote: 

Hi xxx, I remember that i have borrowing money from you before. But as my memory, i wanna borrow RM200 from you but the end you only borrow me RM100 only. can you recap back.  

Anyway, give me your account no, i bank in for you.

thank you

Oops... Obviously I have a bad memory clouded by emotion, and my friend has a better memory than mine. What a shame "p

Anyway, since he replied, at least I know that he still remember. Is a good thing, at least I felt appreciated and my help last time wasn't in "vain"

And since he is determined to clear the debt, I will reply him on my account number later, and see how it goes.

But am not sure how will our friendship like in the future, because the first topic that we talk about after many years of not seeing each other is debt instead of the normal usual "how are you doing?" *_* So, debt between friends is a bad thing isn't it?

Really long time didn't see this guy, but will always treat him as a friend.

good day

While today is a blur day in general, I bet and am pretty sure that tomorrow will be a damn good day.

Why? Because tomorrow after work, I will be going to celebrate not just one, but two of my "ex-company" friends farewell, muahahahahaha... Not really sure wheter my "leave ex-company" campaign is working or not, but am just happy about it. Besides, get to gather with familiar faces and chit chat while spreading my "influence", kakakaka...

After that dinner, will be joining bunch of my colleague going for a "drink" at auto-city for chill out =) I know I know, I am still on med and still in the recovery stage. I promise I will only order orange juice, k? kekekeke...

Where the F is my EA form?

*********************************************************************************************
small talk:-
Is 35mins past midnight, and I am still not able to sleep, although am tired physically. "stoned" should be the word to describe my state right now.
Reason? Because I had a cup of Starbuck Vanilla Caffe Latte after lunch at Genting, utilizing my going to due voucher.
Quite a torturing feeling *_* Not sure when I am able to sleep tonight. I wasnt able to sleep on the bus just now too =(
*********************************************************************************************

Aside from unpacking after coming back from KL-Genting trip, what is the first thing I do when got connected in the sleepless night?

Blogging???

Nope... Blogging is the 2nd in list.

The first thing I do when I got online was writting the below letter with my notorious inefficiency-intolerant or impatient mood to my "ex-company" demanding my EA form.

It has been more than a month since I tried for many times to engage with anyone from my "ex-company" about it, but regretably my EA form still is no where to be seen as of today.

My "ex-company" never failed to amaze me by having world-class system in place for anything, including hotline or email ticket filing for ex-employee to cater for their "needs". However, is it really useful? Guess nobody there really look into that.

My simple wish is to resolve this "petty" matter ASAP. Is just that plain simple! Is it really that hard to do?


Hi,

This is an existing ticket.

2 days after I filed this ticket, I received a phone call from one of the staff a my "ex-company" who look into this ticket and informed me that "ex-company" is in the process of mass courier out all the EA forms for "ex-employee" by end of March 2008

Regretably, with much patient, I waited until now (after 2 weeks) and still have not received my EA form.

Can you help check on the status of my EA form?

Anyway, no matter what is the status, since the tax filing due is really drawing near (30 April 2008 if you are not aware), I proposed that you help me find out the person/admin who has the hardcopy of my EA form, send me his/her contact (email, phone, buiding, cubicle number etc), and I will go to "ex-company" myself to take the EA form personally anytime this week, soonest the better!

Please help look into this ASAP! This delay of EA form is GATING me from performing my duty as a Malaysian citizen!

Lastly, apology for my harsh tone here. Obviously I am emotional and my patient is wearing thin. I personally understand that you are also just one of the salaried/contract worker at "ex-company", doing the day to day job there, with lots of tasks at hand but with less resource provided, one of the reason that I left on top of beaurocracy.

Please contact me at xxxxxxxxxx if you need further clarification.

as for why

***********************************************************************************************
small talk:
been a long day today, but is a good day :)
went for a series of teambuilding event today with co-workers. It was nice, except that we chose the wrong movie to watched :) we played paintball and have a good lunch together earlier.
Later at night, went for a opposition political ceramah. At last I made it to an actual ceramah umum, and lucky me get to see Lim Guan Eng in person :)
I will try to share some photos when I got more of them and tidied them, stay tune ya
***********************************************************************************************

Disclaimer: all the contents in this post/blog are purely my sole opinion/speculation from hearsay and has nothing to do with any other person/entity or representing the view of any company/organization. The accuracy of the content is my pure interpretation at my best knowledge and should be used at your own risk & discretion.

Thanks for the comments & support in the earlier post. But I choose to reply with a post instead of comment because I have many things to say, some sort like a behind the scene thingy :)

What I can and want to comment is, the being may be reacted this way because the being probably felt the heat for the letter that I wrote in, submitted to KWSP management and now at the hand of the "parking company" headquarter in KL. So, instead of resolving the issue or trying to improve the condition, the being chose to retaliate/focus on different topic. To me, it is a sign of a typical narrow minded being, or maybe the wordings that I used in the letter was too "inviting", oh my...

The being seems like focusing on attacking me for not keeping the thing wrap and the being dont even understand that what is blogging all about. The being did seems to have delivered some sort of a message to me that if I have anything not satisfied about their service, can directly talk to them. Well, they may be right about this.

But...

If there is any form of existing so called "channel" for me to feedback, I wont resort to express my anger in blog, right? I mean the "parking company" dont even have a decent website or any contact that can be found easily on the parking ticket. They dont even have a decent/bloody feedback channel.

As for finding them directly, I did find them at the small "dungean" at the basement of the building. The moment I entered the "dungean", I almost choked with the "aftermath" of long term heavy "smoking" (that is another issue that I am pursuing about ignorant smokers in the building, but I didnt/restrain from posting it in the blog). Sadly, I cant even find the actual person in charge in the office, I just dont see him around those days, just the being that I dont want to talk to is in the office, passed it the letter, it took a 2 second glimpse at it, told me "ok!". Then told me to talk to KWSP personal directly at 3rd floor instead because this simply came out of the being's mouth "I cant do anything", such a good "fullstop" that leave no space for me to further response.

So, I went up to office again, print another copy of the same letter, and find the person in charge in KWSP at 3rd floor. Fortunately, the meeting with the KWSP personal went very well and very helpful, a very obvious contrast. The personal help me passed up my letters to the "parking company" headquarter in KL. So, I am guessing that the being felt the heat from there since then.

Then there is this one fine day, suddenly all the season passes in my office got blocked although the due date for the next payment havent reach, causing much trouble to the office admin with the being that actually did this, but luckily got resolve on the same day.

So, what I want to say is, I decided to took down the posts because I dont want it to affect the ridiculous being who dont want to resolve the issue but wanting to retaliate, not just to me, but affecting the operation of the place that I work in, and will pursue it in the manner that the being suggested to me to go directly to them. That is why I AM STILL WATING AND SEEING forward for a discussion/debate with them, if they do, which I doubt will, but I will find/nudge them occasionally from time to time.

Ok, I am still angry when writting this post.
cool down...
cool down...

inhale...
exhale...
inhale...
exhale...

ok, fine, better...

Anyway, I felt that I prone to activist work for welfare recently, trying to make a difference at the work environment, trying to voice out the issue that many people having but they just cant afford/take the time/energy to do so.

I felt something different in me, dunno where the up-a-few-levels of gut in me came from, and some gush of adreline that might land myself with many ugly confrontations and other issues which I couldnt imagine and not sure will I be able to handle. Maybe because of the election-vote-for-opposition-fever :)

Anyway, I will still persist and brace myself for anything that comes out from what I am doing. Thanks for the comments and support. At least I felt that I am not alone in this, and felt that what I am voicing does have its ground and you felt the same about it too :)

Till then, I will keep on blogging.

And to the being, if you are reading this, and if you can understand what I am writting, you should know better what I am talking about!

rain

After a long spell of dry season (forgotten since when it started), and after a week of sickness, finally it rained.

As you know, I am a rain person who hate dry weather. To me, water brings life while the dryness brings the opposite.

But here's the good news bad news thing.

Good news is, my sickness takes a sharp turn yesterday, and I have regained almost 80% of my voice today. My throat got really better, am very happy after a week of sickness. Was contemplating should I still keep recuperating or fulfill my wish of going to play basketball after work today... hmmm.... hard to decide ler... *_*

Bad news is, the rain came at the wrong time at the wrong place. Approximately around 8.30pm yesterday, it rains and selfish me decided not to join the "ceramah umum" at 9pm nearby which I have been promoting about. Realized that at the end, I am just a selfish person who wants to recover quickly from sickness and wanting to sleep early. Like I said, I am not patriotic. Just analytic person. And I'm not proud of it actually.

stoned

I am really stoned by taking the cough syrup these few days. I do read blogs, but totally no inspiration to write one.

I have been on medicine, and slept a lot. Although I do feel better now, and finishing the prescriptions soon, still not 100% me yet *_*

Anyhow, the sore throat got better, but I have a very itchy throat now. Hate coughing, it disturb breathing and sleeping.

Well, been stoned and lazy around for a few days, and is about time to go back to work tomorrow. Time to re-collect myself, time to re-focus, and finally hope that the inspiration will come back eventually too

a lot

Although it is just the first day @ work after CNY, it has been an eventful day that gave me lots of inspiration to write blog about many topics.

The 2 post about "fish eye" and "ang pau" are just a fraction of what happened today :)

There is this fire fighting the design issue on first day @ work today;
there is this my buddy came all the way from Melaka to have lunch with us;
there is this cum 'bon voyage' lunch for KF who is traveling to US this week;
there is this visiting my ex-gf @ hospital;
and there is this resolution rules that I set for myself for my health.

Some people might say that I am really too free to blog even such a tiiny little things that happend in a day.

What can I say? These tiiny things that happened everyday are the things that filled my life with colors.

Good or bad, I would like to document it or share it so that I can log it or enrich it with feedbacks.

Anyway, I am really addicted to blogging now. I like blogging, and I like reading blogs too, hehehe.


Lastly, I guess I will end today's post with the posting of "4 health rules" that I can think of and set for myself today, hehehe...

1. sleep for a minimum of 7hrs a day, the more the better :)
2. do not eat heavy meal 3hrs before sleep. Heard of this from the radio, i think.
3. really chew my food when eating. A friend of mine said chew at least 30 times per mouth, and that is according to a health book. Not sure whether I can do that much chewing or not; may be I will try 10 times first. With that, I am sure that I will be eating slower than Fion d "p
4. try to cut down the number of times cursing about bad/tiiny little things per day, cos it will boil my blood pressure and that is not good for health. I didnt really set a real target for this, but I shall definitely remind myself about this everytime I am "hot". Then again, if I really seldom curse about bad/tiiny little things, then there will be lesser blogging topics d.... o(-"-)o So, which one do you prefer???

Time check... 12:03AM. Ok, time for bed, good night...ZZzzzz...

going places

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random:-

I grab this photo from a friend in friendster.

At the moment I saw it, I totally burst into laughter :)

Super duper funny sign and the owner really has a sense of humor.

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Well, since I quite free today, I did some backlog email checking and checking out photos in friendsters to get updates of friends.

Anyhow, generally majority of the photos are taken while traveling. Remind me of not so good feeling again. Hehehe, some of you who really knew me should know what I am going to post about already.

Yup, is the "good old" intel days. Although I have finally travelled Dec last year to Beijing, seeing those many places photos still gave me a little gush of adrenaline :p

Well, the question is "why so late?" People have been to for like half the world, and I just been to 1 or 2.

And as I grew older/mature "p, there tend to be responsibility there that I cant travel for long period or for too often already. There's even the "old" feeling of traveling, that probably will make the trip wont be that enjoyable anymore. Why so? Ever heard of people asking why this uncle come to playground playing or why this uncle go to Lee Hom or Jolin Chai concert, surrounded by youngsters? Well, actually nothing is really wrong, but there tend to be the "old" feeling there "p

So, conclusion is, my hatress to my ex-boss & intel is still the deepest, and it impact me so deep that carve a mark on the stone. Some would say, "let it go", because carrying the stone along your life would make you more tire and slow you down. I totally agree. But it is a source of energy/motivation to me to fight against the odd as well. Besides, I couldnt "forget" things that really did happen. Who I am now today is because of my past. I can only take the matter a little lightly, but occasionally will think of it.

Well, CNY is near, lets not let the little gush of adrenaline spoils the mood. Besides, writting it out and letting you all know about it makes me feel better too.

Anyhow, stay tune. Since focal is near for many of you, ever thought of wanting to know what did I write about that useless rubbish my ex-boss previously in his feedback? Curious? I will post it after CNY, want to do some "XXX" or "Mr A" or "Mr B" editing before publishing it. For those who had read that, take it as a refresher course. And for those who havent read it before, let it be like courtrooom statement and you be the judge, to judge whether is he really that useless, OR do I really hate him so much "p

yesssss

Light At The End Of The Tunnel, by DAN CHUSID

Finally!!! I see some light ahead of the tunnel :)

Cross my finger and hope the design can pass through the flow without any glitches now *_*

tense

sob... sob...
12midnight, alone in office...
still stuck @ the "one" & only issue...
summoned many helps, but no avail...
while the dateline has been almost a week due :(
arghhh...