Well, since a post last year about helping out some friends financially end of last year, my mindset now in this domain has changed dramatically.
My principal now is, I won't lend to friends money anymore, no matter how close we are.
The only exception is when I decided to donate instead of lending, and is for valid case that deem by me. That is all, and I think it is the best for now.
As for why, out of the 4 persons that I lend the money to before (those that I could remember), big sum or small sum, I only get one repayment, which is the same person that I talk about in that post. The rest, some are still in the process of "negotiating"... Some, I think I will just forget about the existence of that person...
Bad isn't it. Well, I felt despair sometimes when occasionally thought of them. Some seems like totally missing, or even if when you do see some of them, they tend to avoid the topic and assume that nothing really happened, and the saddest thing is that some were and are your really close friends or elder.
Specifically, one of the despair sometimes happened just a few days back. When I was cleaning up my email address book, a friend's name caught my eye, who I suddenly recalled that I did lend him some money many many years back. See, this kind of thing you wont really forget if you lend him/her money, unless you really decided to donate it out, because once you donate, case close with open heart.
For background, this friend is my secondary school friend, we were very very close. We loved basketball very much. I remembered he taught me basketball too when I first join the team, although he is younger than me. I remembered we watched Michael Jordan Chicago Team on VCR at his house before training sessions at the school in the evening (that was the 90s). Those time was great. But years after that, he didn't continue study and started working, and me started working too after graduating. At that time, my salary was still at entry level, and has a lot of liabilities, but I tried to fork out some to help, but since then, never brought up anymore.
So, with some emotional feelings, I wrote an email to this friend of mine asking about the debt, whom I didn't see for years, and don't really know whether the email address is still valid or not.
Date: Thu, 24 Apr 2008 09:18:08 -0700
From: xxx
Subject: remember the RM200
To: xxx
Hi xxx
Really long time no see. Remember the RM200 that you
borrowed from me years back? Still remember or
forgotten already?
In case you don't know, I still remember although it
is a small sum and it has been years back. Not that I
am really in need of money now, but just want to see
whether you remember or not. Because people keep on
borrowing money from me, and keep on "forgetting",
like the money is actually theirs and like I don't
have the right to claim it back. Just checking.
regards,
xxx
Yup, I do write this kind of email, I cant believe it myself either *_*
But surprisingly, I got his reply as below a day later.
--- xxx wrote:
Hi xxx, I remember that i have borrowing money from you before. But as my memory, i wanna borrow RM200 from you but the end you only borrow me RM100 only. can you recap back.
Anyway, give me your account no, i bank in for you.
thank you
Oops... Obviously I have a bad memory clouded by emotion, and my friend has a better memory than mine. What a shame "p
Anyway, since he replied, at least I know that he still remember. Is a good thing, at least I felt appreciated and my help last time wasn't in "vain"
And since he is determined to clear the debt, I will reply him on my account number later, and see how it goes.
But am not sure how will our friendship like in the future, because the first topic that we talk about after many years of not seeing each other is debt instead of the normal usual "how are you doing?" *_* So, debt between friends is a bad thing isn't it?
Really long time didn't see this guy, but will always treat him as a friend.
Labels: feeling, msg
